Friday, April 19, 2013

How to be that Helpmate

So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

I have been married for 11 years now and I can say that I have learned so much about relationships.  I know what it is to have one before marriage and how it goes while married.  Some suggest that being married is just a piece of paper, but it is more than that.  The minute you say "I Do"  Things change.  You still of course love that person but something in your inner being happens.  For some it is the feeling of ownership, for some it is being extra protective, for some it is even feeling safe, feeling protected and like you are on top of the world.  In all those things you feel something.  Today I want to talk to the ladies about what I have learned about marriage. 

We have this idea of the man we want.  When we are dating we go with the flow, we don't try and change the man but as soon as we marry them we want, and expect them to become this different person that we cooked up in our heads, and did not even bother to share with them about, a mystery man.  The main subject within this I want to talk about is Building a Strong Man.  you were created as a helpmate and to help build the inner being of that man.  Adam was strong physically at his job but he lacked strength and his ability to love beyond the animals.  Then there became woman.  Often we work so hard to try and change men, make them into these made up men, sometimes these men that are a combination of celebrities that we like certain things about, often characters we are reading in books and watching on movies but that is not God's way.  How can you build a strong Man?

1. The beauty of being a Woman.  If your spouse can see you loving yourself he can love you his way and give all the love that he can give to his wife.  It is easy to love a woman who knows what she was created for.   It's not about should you work or stay home being a home maker, but loving the beauty of being a woman.  The nurturing part of you, the caring part of you, the instinct of a woman to know when and what her Husband needs.  I can say that at times I can look at my Husband and know what he is needing right in that moment without him saying a word.  What he is thinking about , and what at that moment he needs from me in the form of words when we are having a conversation.  The problem with us is that we are too busy doing what we think we should be doing and not what we know we should be doing.  It is so much easier to do what you know you are created to do than to live a life time trying things and wearing hats that don't fit.  What if you tried for a weeke to do what you were created to do as a wife the biblical way and scratch everything else out?  Something to think about.  Don't listen to everyone about what you are to be doing as a wife.  Listen to what God said.  Yes Steve Harvey has some insighful tips but What about just being that helpmate that God created you to be!
2. Encourage him.  Encouraging him is not telling him what he is doing wrong and then telling him what he need to do.  Encouraging him is saying to him I support your decision and if this does not work, I have your back and we can try something else.   It can even be if he does not like what he is doing with his career, or things he may personally  be dealing with you can say" I support your decision, and if you don't like it, or want to change, we can work through it".  "Something better is out there for you"!  Let him know he is still that Man in your life.  He will love you so much more for your encouragement.  Believe it or not your encouragement makes him successful.  Adam was only half the man he was created to be before Eve, He was able to reach his full potential when God created his helpmate.  So often times we think we are the victims all the time and poor us but not all times this is the case.  We have a convenat with God that as we give ourselves to our husbands as a helpmate, God take care of us. 
3.  Do what is right no matter what.  The end is do what is right no matter what.  It can be really hard at times to just not treat people the way you are being treated but do what is right anyway.  God will honor that.  That leaves your conscience clear and your spirit at peace.  Press on, don't give up! God is with you and he knows what he created you for.  As long as you are doing what he created you for from The Rib of Man then Have confidence that he will take care of you and work things out!  I have seen him do it over and over in my life and marriage.  God is serious about the Bond of Marriage and he want it to be as healthy as it can be.

Ending Scripture

1 Peter 3:1-6 NKJV

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

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