Monday, January 24, 2011

My Testimony

I grew up in Flordia in a single parent home.  I lived with my mom and two brothers.  My mom believed in God and used to always tell us about the book of Revelation SOme point in my child hood when I was about 10 years old, my mom got on drugs really bad.  My brothers and I suffered a lot.  we did not have any food to eat most of the time and we had to depend on the neighborhood candy man who ran it out of his home to give us free food to eat so that we could have a meal.  My mom would straighten up a little bit but soon would go back to the same things.  It would only get worese and We went from having no food to the water bill not being paid, to no lights.  My brothers and I would walk through the grave yards and fill up jugs of water to use.  Then if we had lights we would heat up the cold water to use to bathe and things like that. We would eat cereal with water and wear summer clothes in the winter time.  It was a tough time.  As the only girl I suffered a lot and ofter wondered why?  I would be afraid because all my mothers drug friends were mostly male and they would be in and out of the house and some even touch me in ways they shouldn't and spoke to me in ways that were not the way they should speak to a child.  I often locked myself in my room and wrote a lot in journals and began to read the bible a lot.  I started getting myself up for church and walking to the nearby church.  I would go to sunday school and to this event called awana's on Wednesday nights.  I started to learn more about God.  I often prayed about my situation and wondered why I was going through what I was going through.  My troubles lasted for years and a big blow out happened when I failed the eighth grade due to my home situation and I my mother packed her bags to leave us by ourselves.  We did not know what to do.  My brothers often looked to me because I basically took care of them when my mother would be gone for three and four days at a time and I would basically be their mother.  So I went to live with my grandmother and things got better.  I had to learn how to eat again because I was so used to not eating that I could go all day without food.  My grandmother had to show me how to be a kid and not like a parent.  I was 15 when I went to live with my grandmother and I was able to go to high school make friends, play sports, participate in extra curricular activites and learn scrapbooking something I am passionate about today.  I got to be 17 years old when I really starting seeking God and noticing that even though I got my childhood back there was a void that was missing in my heart.  I knew God needed to be there.  My dad who came off of a drug habbit he had during the same years as my mom did, starting coming around and sharing the love of God with me.  My uncle visited my grandmother and me one day from out of town and I started to talk to him about my feelings and how I felt inside and where did God fit in.  We talked for hours and a few days later I gave myself to Christ!  All those years of wondeing why I had to go through those things and being afraid that I would one day turn out just as my mother was I was confident that I went through those things for a reason.  Now I have my own children, my own husband, my own life, my own calling in life that God has given me, I see how that My bad life then is my testimony now!  This online ministry I am starting and the new Teen/young adult ministry I am starting Locally at my church is what it is all about.  I can now share what I have endured and share with teens and young adults that you can make it!  I have a great Husband, three beautiful children, I love God and he is starting to do great things with my life, I am now starting a ministry to help other women, and I am putting together a ministry for teens. To help them cope with the issues they may be facing in high school and at home like I did,   I am in school to be a medical assistant, I have an online shop where I sell my handmade crafts, and all with the love of Christ in me!  All that I have and all that I am is because of him and I am so thankful that I belong to him.  I still make mistakes today and I am nowhere near perfect, but I have the power through him to overcome!  It is all about overcoming and getting beauty from ashes!  I pray that this testimony has helped someone know that they are not alone in trials, God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ever ask or think! If he did it for me he can do it for you!
God Bless!


  1. Oh Toccara, I am in tears to read all of what you have been thru. I am so glad you found Jesus. Without him we are nothing. He gives me the strength everyday to cope. I will one day tell you my testimony. It is nothing like yours because I had Jesus but my faith got stronger when my son was in Iraq fighting a war.
    Thank you so much for sharing this with us...And may God continue blessing you and your family.....sweet friend....


  2. what a heart wrenching testimony! But you are right God brings us through things so we can have compassion on others and reach out to help. I am so glad that you did not waiver in your faith from God during these trying times and that you had a wonderful Grandmother who loved you.

    Thank you for putting it all out there for others to hear and see!

    I pray that God will bless this new ministry of yours and that it will be a joyful journey for you!



  3. THank you ladies for your comments. ALthough this was a really tough time for me God is faithful. God has his way of showing us he is God. I look at what I went through as a time to rejoice because I overcame that. My mom and I are best friends. SHe has changed her life been clean of Drugs for about 4 years now and we hang out she loves her granddaughters and they love her. She says that I keep her strong and like I used to come to her as a child and ask questions about God she now comes to me to learn more about him. noone but God can work something like that out for his glory.